Self improvement tips for single mothers

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The single mom improves, not by blaming, but by growing and choosing positive life choices. My time spent as a single mom included a lot of crying in the dark, when my children could not hear me. But more importantly, my most glorious moments of self improvement came from reading in the light. Most of my most defining moments came from reading life changing books and developing self improving attitudes and thoughts. One author I read frequently was Dale Carnegie. As a single mom, the temptation to feel sorry for yourself and your life circumstances can be overwhelming and seemingly unavoidable. One of my favorite quotes from Dale Carnegie is this:

“Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.” Dale Carnegie

It is natural and understandable to envy other moms who are married to seemingly wonderful husbands, while you struggle alone. But the key point to remember is that you are the captain of your ship. You decide how to improve yourself and the circumstances of your family life. Many, many single moms make the mistake of thinking, “If only I had more money to provide for the children, everything would be better. “ I can personally attest to this type of thinking as heading down the wrong path and away from the tremendous possibilities that life offers when we open our minds and reach out.

I am not suggesting that we pretend there is no struggle or no pain. I am suggesting that your response and actions can greatly alter the road you choose to travel.

There are four key action items that helped me improve myself and be a better mom. It didn’t matter if I had enough money, what mattered most was did I have the courage and perseverance to change.


1. Research.

2. Read.

3. Remind.

4. Pray, Pray and Pray some more.

Research: use the web to search for self improvement articles, parenting articles,

Read: Winston Churchill, Dale Carnegie and Ken Blanchard offer some of the most amazing positive thinking, motivational speeches and life changing words in the wonderful world of books.

Remind: Once you read Carnegie/Churchill/Blanchard, post their quotes on paper and tape it to your bathroom mirror, your refrigerator door, and your wallet….wherever you look often. Seeing and playing these positives words in your mind will lead to leaps and bounds in your quest for self improvement.

Remind yourself of ALL THE GOOD you are doing for your child. Remind yourself that you are NOT alone. There are many support groups as well as blogs, hotlines and websites specifically designed for single moms.

Pray: Whether you believe in prayer, believe in God or consider yourself an atheist….prayer can be a very powerful tool. Numerous studies have shown that hospitalized patients fared better when knowing people were praying for them than those patients who believed or had no one pray for them.

Remember, YOU are in charge of your thoughts…good and bad.

“Continuous effort – not strength or intelligence – is the key to unlocking our potential.” Winston Churchill

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”
Winston Churchill

2 Responses

  1. Janelle Anderson says:

    Thank you so much for all these inspiring articles. I really appreciate the Winston Churchill quotes (didn’t WC lead England to victory over Hitler when he was 75 years old?) and the HOPE acronym (Have Overwhelming Positive Enthusiasm) from one of your other articles.

    Single motherhood brings with it the invisible weight of responsibility. God never intended a woman to carry this burden alone and it is very overwhelming. I simply cry out to God that He is my husband since I don’t have one.

    I don’t know what I would do without the help of my parents. It took me SEVEN years to finish what should have been a two year master’s degree in education. But I did not give up and that made all the difference.

    I still have a very long road ahead of me. I wish I did not have to endure these circumstances but if war refugees with limited English skills can work their way into a middle class existence through two decades of solid hard work, then so can I.

    • Allison Jarman says:

      Janelle – I agree with you!! Moms were not meant to carry the burden of raising children alone. It continues to amaze that a parent could so easily walk away from caring for a child.

      Thank you very much for your feedback!

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