Introducing Kids to a New Boyfriend
Being a mom and dating brings with it many different considerations and problems. One of these is how much to expose your child or children to your dating adventures. Before you even begin dating, it is important to determine how you are going to handle it in regards to your children to ensure that you make the best decisions for you and for your children to keep them feeling safe and happy. What should you consider when thinking about introducing your kids to a new boyfriend?
Talk about it.
You don’t want to just spring a new boyfriend on them. If you have started dating, you want to be honest with your kids and talk to them about it. Everything doesn’t need to be discussed, but if you are considering introducing your kids to them, they should be. You want them to know that you are dating and getting to know someone, but you don’t have to make a big deal about it or they may be turned off from the person entirely.
Don’t introduce everyone.
If you are just casually dating someone, there is really no need to introduce them. Kids have a tendency to get very attached to people quickly if they like them and if it doesn’t work out, this can be an issue with their feelings. In addition, you want to be sure that you know this person very well before you introduce them to your children. Every date doesn’t have to meet your kids.
Once you decide to introduce your kids to your boyfriend, you want to do it in a way that is fun and enjoyable for you and your kids. If they have kids, bring all of your kids together in an active date doing something fun, like hiking, swimming, going to an amusement park, or something else that will keep everyone physically active and happy. While a sit down dinner may seem great to you, this puts the pressure on your kids, which can backfire on you.
Listen to your kids when they are talking about your boyfriend. Children often have a great ability to discern the true character of a person. While some of their feelings may be simply due to not wanting to share their parent or not let go of their parents getting back together, it is still important to listen to them.
Put your kids first.
Your children are your first priority and you need to keep it that way. Be sure that you spend quality time with them without the new boyfriend regularly. Otherwise, your children may feel as if the new boyfriend is taking their mom away from them, which can cause hard feelings and behavior issues.
Deciding to date and introduce your boyfriend to your children is not something that you should take lightly. Slow considerations and careful decision making will help to ensure that your children will be taken care of mentally and physically. It can be a great time for you and for them if you are careful and consider their feelings first.