What do single moms look for in a man?

I have been asked this question numerous times during my time as a single mom. One of the first things to pop into my head is: “no games”. I am then quickly reminded of the scene from Jerry Maguire, in short, Jerry is given advice on what “not to do” and that is…A REAL MAN DOESN’T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A SINGLE MOM. I have asked many of my male friends about this scene from Jerry Maguire and most agree that single moms should be handled with special care. This doesn’t take away responsibilities from the moms as they must be clear about their expectations as well. But, as a man, keep in mind that a single mom bears a great responsibility on her shoulders, usually alone. Some single moms may not be too trusting at first, thus, you must be patient. Start by going slow and let her find out about you through your actions and not just your words. Above is just a summary of issues that single moms think about when it comes to dating. Below you are invited to review in depth details.

Qualities

Character – Are you a man of your word? If so, you will capture not just her heart but respect as well.

Patience – Remember she is busy and stressed … give her time to let her hair down and relax.

Humor – A man who can make a woman genuinely laugh is better than a man with buckets of money.

Honesty – Single moms have precious time, having to use it to “discover” lies is not only hurtful but shows lack of dignity and respect.

The Date

A first date for a single mom should be someplace quiet and quaint. A stroll on the beach or a small meal at a quiet restaurant is a great break for a single mom. Most single moms just want some time for themselves, just a quick break. So, taking her out to a noisy bar on the first date is not a good idea. The best date would probably be a small pizza joint with a nice stroll on the beach after dinner or lunch.

Another thing to remember, moms want what men want also – a nice time out, removed of pressure and full of laughs. Don’t push for too much too soon. Going in for a full make out session doesn’t make her feel special. In fact, it makes her feel cheap and more than likely will turn her off to any type of second date.

The Kids

Although dating a single mom involves the realities of children, it doesn’t mean that there is not a beautiful, fun, kind and gracious women underneath the persona of “mom”. Yes, she has children, but she also wants to feel like a sexy woman and not only a “mom”. Getting her talk about the kids the whole time takes away from her individuality. Ask her about her interests, hobbies or dreams. Don’t feel obligated to show her you like kids, if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be on the date with her.

Do’s &Don’ts

· Don’t monopolize the conversation with stories of the kids.

· Don’t try for a kiss on the first date.

· Don’t offer to give her a massage.

· Don’t take her out to a noisy place.

· Do compliment her dress, hair or make-up.

· Do maintain eye contact and demonstrate sincerity.

· Do make her laugh – leave her at the end of the night with a smile

· Do open the door for her – we are used to doing things alone, but still appreciate a gentleman.

Remember, single moms are not that much different from women without kids, they just tend to have more pressure and responsibility. Therefore, they have less time/energy to “date around”. A single mom is a special woman and can treat a man just as special. She is also less likely to play games. So, remember your do’s and dont’s, treat her like a gentleman and make her laugh – A LOT!

Article Written by Allison Jarman
Although recently married, Mrs. Jarman spent 17 years as single parent. She is the proud mother of two adult daughters. Mrs. Jarman was a classroom teacher in public schools and currently works in accounting and finance. She is a twice published author and weekly contributor for articles pertaining to single parents and families.

 


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