Going through a divorce is one of the hardest things you can possibly go through. It is an emotional journey that often includes anger and resentment that you have to learn how to deal with. This will not be an instantaneous thing, but instead it will be a process of grieving and learning to deal with your feelings. What are some ways that you can help yourself to deal with the anger and resentment toward your ex husband?
Emotions are normal:
Anger, resentment, and bitterness may be just a few of the emotions that you will feel toward your ex husband. Depending upon the circumstances, you may also feel relief, happiness, and satisfaction that you have made it through the divorce. Either way, you need to allow yourself to feel the emotions and give yourself permission to feel. Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself to ensure that you are physically able to cope and to help your mental state as well.
Try to find some good:
Even if your marriage ended badly, you had to have had some good times to get married in the first place, right? While you want to remember the bad times, you also want to remember the good as well. By remembering the good times, you can help yourself to release some of the anger and resentment that you are feeling. Just don’t let the good ones overcome your reasons for divorcing and find yourself running back to him again and again.
Listen to your mind more than your heart:
If you have left an abusive marriage or a marriage that was difficult to live in, you need to remember the bad that you have come out of and use your mind. Even when your ex husband is being kind to you, this does not mean that you should let your heart rule over your head and you return to a marriage that is dangerous or mentally abusive. By listening to your mind, you can determine what is really best for you and for your children, if you have them.
Find a new normal:
Just because you are not part of a couple anymore doesn’t mean that you have to be depressed or sad. Try to settle into living as a single mom or single woman again. Don’t give your ex husband the power to still control your life. Find a new normal where you are in control and are able to cope with life and take care of yourself and your kids. There is one out there that will give you a great sense of satisfaction and joy, even with your ex husband.
By finding yourself after going through a divorce, you will be able to begin letting go some of the anger toward the ex husband. Don’t let the bad feelings take you into the future. Take care of your physical self and learn to live with your new normal. In no time, you will be able to begin the process of healing and letting go of the resentment.