Key #1 Mental health

• Social
• Self-talk

There are many facets of a healthy mind. I identify two important concepts that will help many single parents: Isolation and Self-talk. Isolation quickly leads to depression, sedentary life style choices and in some cases, anger. In the Psychology Today article, “The Dangers of loneliness”, there are clearly explained ties to the deeper impact of Isolation. After affecting you mentally and emotionally, isolation begins to tear at your body physically. Avoid isolating yourself by going to church, community events, work events or even signing up for a craft class. You may feel apprehensive at first but the alternative is much more harmful to you and your children.

What about your personal “self-talk”? What does this dialogue look like? If your inner dialogue is filled with “can’t”, “won’t”, “not possible”, “loser” – don’t be surprised when your brain follows YOUR WORDS. Many of my readers are aware of numerous studies on self-talk. But what if negative self-talk has been your habit for years? How do you break it? Start with small steps of change. Instead of “can’t” try “I am” or “I will”. It is up to you to change your internal dialogue – YES, you can do it!

Key #2 Physical Health

• Gym
• Group activities

I recently took a Zumba class for the first time. Wow! I was so energized the night after and into the following day. I personally know how much of a positive impact exercise makes on my mental health (Key #1) and physical wellbeing.  When I bring up the gym to some single parents, the first reaction is “I don’t have the money.” I firmly believe where there is a will, there is a way. It may be true that you cannot afford membership to a high end gym. But the YMCA has very affordable memberships that include access to machines, classes and pools.

Group activities make the experience much more enjoyable. This can be as simple as meeting with friends or co-workers for a walk or having a weekend group of yoga enthusiasts. Group activities also help with accountability. When you have others depending on you or expecting you to show up, it’s more difficult to talk yourself (self-talk) out of going.

Key #3 Financial Health

• Retirement/401k/E-trade
• Part time work online
• Comparison shop

I used to believe I didn’t have ANY spare money for retirement or investing. But after years of reading, research and now investing our retirement funds, I realize that I really missed out on compound interest. If your company offers a 401k plan, join up! Even if you only contribute 2% you are still earning interest, rate of return and planning for retirement. If you don’t have a 401k plan at work, visit the sites below for other savings options. Finding part time or online work is not as elusive as in years past. I found a number of job opportunities through Facebook, Twitter and CareerBuilder that can be done from home. Your last step is comparison shopping. Some parents believe shopping at Goodwill stores is more budget conscious. This is sometimes true, but not always. I have found brand new quality jeans and shirts at Wal-Mart and Ross for about $1 more than Goodwill or thrift stores. In some cases, Goodwill is pricier. This does not mean I am an advocate of always buying new clothes. Gently used clothing that your child will soon grow out of is a great idea and a wise financial choice. But buying a new pair of jeans or a few shirts once a month will give a boost to your mental health (Key #1) as well as your child’s.

Finally, maintain consistency in your home.  Emotion upheaval will run rampant in your home when single parents are visibly stressed, worried or angry. When there is instability, kids worry. Whether we realize it or not, our kids believe parents are super-heroes.

Internet Resources
Group Support
Working from home – tips
Positive Self Talk
Mayo Clinic – self talk
Financial Planning – single parents
TD Ameritrade

Article Written by Allison Jarman
Although recently married, Mrs. Jarman spent 17 years as single parent. She is the proud mother of two adult daughters. Mrs. Jarman was a classroom teacher in public schools and currently works in accounting and finance. She is a twice published author and weekly contributor for articles pertaining to single parents and families.

• Education
• Job Stability
• Healthcare
• Literacy

Education

We know that job prospects for an individual with only a high school diploma are very limited. It is critically important for a single parent to obtain higher education. The idea of going back to school may seem daunting. But pursuing a degree in a field you are interested in and which will increase your earning potential will pay off a lifetime of dividends. Along with providing more economic stability for your family, you are sending a strong message to your child: Education is not just for the parent.  As they watch you gain life and career skills, they are preparing to build a future of education and earning power for generations to come.  For those who may be concerned about cost, please see the financial aid and resource links at the end of my article.

Job Stability

Minimum wage or low wage jobs appear to be plentiful in our current economy. But, there are actually thousands of unemployed and/or undereducated people applying for these jobs. If you do not obtain a college degree, what separates you from the crowd? Suppose you obtain a bachelors’ degree in business. Then, you apply for that job at Starbucks or Target. Now that you have a degree, you have the education required to apply for that management position. After you obtain your college degree/degrees, you will see job stability improve in your life. A college degree is more likely to land you in a company with stability and strong benefits.

Healthcare

Right after financial concerns, adequate healthcare preoccupies the mind of the single parent. What if my kids lose coverage?  What if they don’t have adequate coverage? If you have secured a job with great health care benefits you may feel you can rest easier. For those parents who haven’t secured adequate health care benefits, there is a multitude of options available. I am including a few links in my article. Please research further options in your home state.

• Healthy families – California
• Healthcare – United States
• Medicaid for children

Literacy

This involves you, as the parent, making a conscious decision to be a life longer learner. Parents must be continually engaged in reading, learning and transferring these skills to your children. Constant growth and learning is necessary to stay informed, intelligent and academically agile. As you transfer your knowledge to your child and teach them to be life-long learners, you can help break the cycle of “perceived poverty”.

If you find yourself constantly worrying about money and providing financially, educate yourself in the area of the finance. Transfer this knowledge to your children. Train your children to read and learn about finances and saving.
In a previous article, I focused on how the absence of a father affects the development of children. I believe you will find this article helpful in becoming more aware of potential pitfalls your children face. Continually building your knowledge base will enhance your ability to strategically plan. Planning allows for prepared responses instead of reactive parenting or reactive decision making. When all of our decisions are “reactive”, life will be like swimming upstream against a raging current – exhaustive and discouraging.

Financial aid for college:
Grants for single moms
Financial aid for moms
Scholarships for single parents
Single parent aid

Article Written by Allison Jarman
Although recently married, Mrs. Jarman spent 17 years as single parent. She is the proud mother of two adult daughters. Mrs. Jarman was a classroom teacher in public schools and currently works in accounting and finance. She is a twice published author and weekly contributor for articles pertaining to single parents and families.

ANGER – we all feel it but most of us haven’t been taught how to wisely express it.  Oh to be sure, we express anger all right, but many do so in a destructive way. How many of us have witnessed the meltdown of the “angry parent”.  How many of us have been that parent? It is in those outbursts of rage that we lose the bigger picture. It is also important to note that many times we assign “distorted anger” onto others.  However, once the dam of anger is broken, emotions overwhelm like that rushing water and destroy everything in its path.  What can the single parent do? First, get a clear understanding of the cause of your anger, how to diffuse it and learning healthy ways to express it. Below are the two main types of anger.

Distorted anger and Definitive anger are the two types of anger you will face throughout life.

Distorted anger is defined as taking your anger out on someone who has not wronged you or having a perception that this person has wronged you.  Sometimes parents may come home feeling frustrated with their boss but end up taking their anger out on their child. Definitive anger is defined as occurring when we truly have been wronged, such as having your purse stolen. It is important to remember that “anger” is not wrong. However, inappropriately expressing anger can cause you to lose your job, hurt your children and alienate family.  Your job is find ways to control your anger, NOT letting your anger control you.

Diffusing Anger:  count, breathe, count again.

Sometimes the best response is … NO RESPONSE. There are those times when some people are specifically looking for a reaction from you. So, don’t give them anything. Trust me you will be happy for it. However, for those times that a response is necessary, remember C.B.C. Count, breathe and count again. Measured words have a much more lasting effect when dealing with the target of your frustration and/or anger.

Taking a break:  walk away or ride away; But don’t forget the headphones.

This involves walking away, sometimes far away. A bike ride, if possible, is also a great stress reliever. A bubble bath is also an excellent getaway that costs very little. But as we sit in our temporary water of paradise, many forget the headphones that block out the noise beyond the bathroom door. Those little tools can block out the world and induce you into relaxation. If you have young children – have a friend come over while you bathe. If you have teenagers – turn up the volume on your headphones!

Expressing anger:

As a parent, you walk a fine line when feeling angry. There are times when it’s appropriate to be angry with your children. If your child has broken a rule at school, failed to do their homework or refused to clean up a mess, a consequence is in order. However, if your child accidently spills some juice, an angry torrent of yelling and screaming is hurtful. But if you come home from work after being yelled at by your boss, you have to check your job at the door. Your boss is not worth destroying the happy smile you see on your son or daughter when you walk though the door.  The next time you are feeling angry, hold your tongue and take a breath – you will feel better about yourself. But more importantly, you will save your children from heartache.

Online help:

Understanding anger
Controlling anger
Anger in children and teens
Anger for people of faith

Article Written by Allison Jarman
Although recently married, Mrs. Jarman spent 17 years as single parent. She is the proud mother of two adult daughters. Mrs. Jarman was a classroom teacher in public schools and currently works in accounting and finance. She is a twice published author and weekly contributor for articles pertaining to single parents and families.

Most single parents I know take on too much guilt. They take on the guilt for the mom or dad who left the child as well as anything negative that happens to their children. The former is a colossal mistake. You absolutely have no control over the actions of the other parent.  What you do have control over is your attitude, your reactions and being an effective single parent.  Having said that, it is time for you to create, edit or build on your personal “parenting manual”.

If you were to write your own parenting manual, what would that look like? What advice would you give and what topics would you cover? I have identified three of the greatest gifts a parent can give their children. Love, Encouragement and Discipline are three important concepts in raising children.  The first two are critical in helping your child develop healthy self esteem. The last one teaches your child that there are consequences to our choices in life.

Love

Easy to say and sometimes near impossible to show, love is the key to successful parenting. Your children need to “know” you love them. As a single parent, it can be difficult for your children to “know” love if one parent has left. A good support system is critical for you and your child. Extended or surrogate families can be a great resource that adds to the life of your child. It is vitally important that you embrace the good intentions and positive input contributed by those families. There will be negative or bitter family members who offer nothing but negativity.  As a single parent, it is your responsibility to stand up for yourself and only interact with the ones who love and support you.

Encouragement

If you are like most parents, by the end of the day you are exhausted and short on patience. Finding the energy and words to spur your child forward in life can feel, at times, like climbing a mountain. Single parents may feel like saying, “Where’s my encouragement?”  Remembering my struggles as a single mom where I faced criticism more often than encouragement, I needed to seek out positive friends and family members.  Along with finding encouragement from loving friends, parents need to pass that on to their children.  Each day take time to find something your child is doing well. This may mean compliments about completing homework or something as simple as encouraging them as they brush their teeth.

Discipline

With so many books, blogs and advice columnists talking about discipline it can be difficult for single parents to feel confident in their discipline choices. The best advice I can give is to try to avoid second guessing yourself.  Having the courage to discipline your child speaks volumes about how much you truly love your children. Disciplining your child impacts your child now as well as their future.  You want to give your children their best chance in school, career and eventually marriage. Teaching your child that they can have whatever they want by refusing to set limits and enforce consequences is likely produce selfishness and a “me first” mentality. There has to be a balance. Children must understand that they have to work and live with others, which sometimes means compromising. Many parents who refrain from discipline for fear of “damage” actually run the risk of nurturing an “entitled” child.

Final thoughts

L.E.D. can be your personal parenting manual if you choose to live those principals. There is not a perfect parenting method. Putting together a balance of love, encourage and discipline can help you and your child to move in a positive direction. Remember: it’s easy to become a parent but very difficult to actually BE a parent.

Tools:

Empowering parents
Encouraging words
Discipline

Article Written by Allison Jarman
Although recently married, Mrs. Jarman spent 17 years as single parent. She is the proud mother of two adult daughters. Mrs. Jarman was a classroom teacher in public schools and currently works in accounting and finance. She is a twice published author and weekly contributor for articles pertaining to single parents and families.

Signs of depression:

Being aware of the signs is an important step in determining if further help is needed. You should never “self-diagnose”. Depression is a medical condition, not a “defect”. Thus, having the help of a medical provider is first step in getting help.

• fatigue and decreased energy
• feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
• insomnia, early morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
• irritability, restlessness
• loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
• no pleasure left in life any more
• persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
• persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” feelings
• thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

Getting help

Depression is a serious but very common health issue. Unfortunately, many women don’t realize they are depressed. It usually takes a friend, family member or co-worker to take notice and say something. One single mom I spoke with told me a friend confided in her about when she battled depression. This friend also talked about her treatment plan which included help from her doctor.

How family or friends can help

If you believe a mom you know is depressed, don’t let her suffer alone. First, conduct research and gather facts. Next, plan a private time where you can express your concern. If possible, this discussion should occur in person. But if the phone is your only option, it is critically important to be kind and gentle when approaching the subject. The worst thing to do is blurt out “you are depressed”. The single mom is already on the defense, having to play the role of two parents and dealing with possible feelings of inadequacy. Suggest some help and/or offer to watch her child while she goes to the doctor. You will be amazed at how alive a single mom becomes once she realizes she is not alone.

Fighting off depression

Below are a few quick bullet points to help with feelings of loneliness or depression. It is not a substitute for medical treatment and advice. Always seek treatment from a medical professional as part of your overall health plan.

· Cultivate adult relationships

· Join the gym

· Have a night out

· Find a new hobby

· Use social networking for games/connections

· Call a friend

Finally, remember that women are 2 times more likely to develop depression than men. Some studies suggest that single moms are 40% more likely to develop depression than married moms. This means that you are not alone! There is nothing innately wrong with you. Seeking treatment just means that you love yourself and your children enough to get help. Life is a journey, you have the right to be happy and enjoy the ride.

Resources:

If you or someone you know is in an immediate crisis, call the toll-free, 24-hour hotline of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)

Medical diagnosis

Depression quiz

Single moms 365

Article Written by Allison Jarman
Although recently married, Mrs. Jarman spent 17 years as single parent. She is the proud mother of two adult daughters. Mrs. Jarman was a classroom teacher in public schools and currently works in accounting and finance. She is a twice published author and weekly contributor for articles pertaining to single parents and families.

Having

Overwhelming

Positive

Enthusiasm

Your Thoughts: What are the overwhelming thoughts in your mind? Do you find yourself dwelling mostly on the negative issues in and around your life? What thoughts are you fertilizing in your mind and allowing to grow roots? The roots of a tree are very strong. Have you ever tried to pull a tree from its roots? If you pull on a tree, especially older trees, you’ll find it VERY difficult to loose that tree! How much more tougher can it be then to “uproot” your thoughts? Start small by choosing a positive thought and DWELL on that thought. Choose a happy memory you shared with your child and DWELL on that memory. What does it mean to dwell? One definition is to LIVE or STAY as a PERMANENT resident. If you are a permanent resident in the city of Negative, pack up your belongings and LEAVE!

Your Words: As your thoughts transform into words – what words do you find coming out of your mouth? What words are your children hearing from their mom? A quick check to find out where you are in your journey is to take a look at the words coming out your mouth. Do you find the words to be mostly negative? Do you speak negatively about others, your child’s father or even yourself? If so, it’s time to make a drastic change. Start by consciously CHOOSING positive words. Hopeful people are usually happy. Are you happy? Helpful? Hopeful? Is there Humor or Hate in your words? As you just read, many of the words I chose to include begin with the letter H. Use the H.O.P.E., anagram to find positive words you would like to entrench into your vocabulary. If you’re not sure how much negativity is coming out of your mouth, ask a trusted friend to help examine your patterns. You can also record yourself over the course of the day.

Your Actions: Now it follows that many people take action based on the thoughts that are developing or have already found root in their mind. By the time we get to the “action” stage, we are firmly “rooted” …whether it is good or bad. Are you good to others? Are your actions kind or rude? Do you often find yourself arguing with others? If your actions don’t show H.O.P.E., be encouraged – because you do have the power to change. Start by deciding on a positive action you can easily accomplish, such as bringing your neighbor some flowers. Donate a small amount of time or money to a charity. While engaging in positive and hope-filled actions, you will notice a change in your heart and your mind. As you take action to elevate your mood, make sure you show and tell your children. In fact, be sure to include actions that your children can participate in. Your children are looking up to you – show them the hope and strength you want them to possess and the person you want them to become!

Article Written by Allison Jarman
Although recently married, Mrs. Jarman spent 17 years as single parent. She is the proud mother of two adult daughters. Mrs. Jarman was a classroom teacher in public schools and currently works in accounting and finance. She is a twice published author and weekly contributor for articles pertaining to single parents and families.

Strained relations:

Being a grandparent can be one of the most rewarding experiences in life. Through my marriage, I have been fortunate enough to inherit four grandchildren. I love them dearly and check with their mom often before I buy from a certain store or make plans for holidays. Giving respect to moms communicates that I love my grandchildren as well as their moms. When grandparents innately assume “they know best” … it leads to unnecessary tension and too much pressure on mom.

Single moms already face challenging circumstances. The problems with grandparents usually arise when respect is not shown towards mom. This can be anything from ignoring boundaries to more aggressive tactics such as bullying over mom and dictating what grandchildren will wear and even where they will go to school. If you are a single mom facing this situation, you may want to look at my previous article regarding bullying - link. Grandparents who don’t fall into the bullying category do well when they show love and respect towards their grandchild’s mom.

Effects on the grandkids:

When mom is under stress, kids feel it immediately. Children are also incredibly intuitive and usually know why mom is feeling extra stress. In many situations, children will even hear negative comments coming from grandma or grandpa about “mommy”. This increases anxiety and can induce acting out among kids. Unfortunately, it can also teach grandkids not to respect their mom.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T:

Grandparents must remember that without “mom”, there would not be a grandchild. Showing your grandchild’s mother respect is the first step in earning trust and building a healthy relationship. Single moms need to remind themselves that grandparents usually mean well and be respectful in their interactions. Even if there is some strain or there is a misunderstanding, it is critically important that moms communicate their feelings in a respectful way towards the grandparents. Now, not all grandparents will respond in kind but that is not your problem. You are responsible for your actions and reactions – make your best effort to be firm but always respectful.

Ways for single moms and grandparents to work together:

1. Consideration
   1. Moms should consider grandparents in trying to organize holidays and birthday parties. Grandparents must consider mom before “deciding” where the kids will be for the holidays, etc. Asking instead of “telling” will yield much better results..
   2. Grandparents who “drop by” announced is another surefire way to cause conflict. Call ahead and plan a day where you can spend time with the grandkids.
2. Verbal praise
   1. Grandparents hold an incredible amount of emotional power. Use it to find positive things to say about mom and her parenting.
   2. Moms need to say thanks when grandparents help – make sure your kids see you modeling verbal praise.
   3. NEVER tell your grandkids negative things about mom. “Your mom shouldn’t…” is something that should never come out of a grandparents’ mouth.
3. Love
   1. Communicating love through your actions is critical.
   2. Simply saying “I love you” but acting in a way that is unloving (by either party) is being part of the problem instead of part of the solution.

Finally, always think of the kids! Model the values you want the children to learn. Do you want to train them in sniping and disrespect, or trust and compassion?

Useful sites:

Working together

6 things you should never say

Boundaries

Article Written by Allison Jarman
Although recently married, Mrs. Jarman spent 17 years as single parent. She is the proud mother of two adult daughters. Mrs. Jarman was a classroom teacher in public schools and currently works in accounting and finance. She is a twice published author and weekly contributor for articles pertaining to single parents and families.

Few people recognize bullies immediately. Bullies are grand manipulators who often seek targets they feel they can easily intimidate. They also are excellent at deceiving others about their intentions. The most often claim of a bully: “I didn’t do anything…he/she is overreacting or is just “too sensitive”. When in reality, bullies get a sick sense of pleasure in trying to dominate others. The official dictionary.com definition is as follows: BULLY: a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.

Types of bullying:

Cyberstalking

Most people are probably familiar with bullying occurring via social networks, email, texting and other types of technological devices. Cyber bullies plant malicious fabrications about their target. They may engage in secretive emails and texts.

The GREAT thing about cyberstalking is that there is a trail of evidence. Many cyber bullies believe they can simply erase an email, text, or social networking posting. Fortunately for police and “targets” …this trail of evidence can be used to confront the bully and in many cases result in legal action taken against the bully.

Serial bullies

Serial bullies excel at deception and evasion of accountability. The silent bully has learned they can avoid consequences of bad behavior through instinctive responses of denial, blaming others and projection. This type of bully usually doesn’t stop. If their current target effectively avoids or assertively stands up to the bully, the bully will look for a new target.

Silent bullies

Silent bullies are experts at hiding their behavior. They often conduct their “games” when no witnesses are present other than their target. They carefully plant misinformation, often pitting people against one another or engage in “splitting” a victim from sources of support. Isolation is a classic bullying tactic. By removing a target’s support network, bullies retain more and more control of their target. Eventually the target breakdown and lose all sense of self.

How to protect yourself and your child

1. WALK AWAY – Bullies want to know they have control over you so don’t react with anger or retaliate with physical force.
2. DON’T RESPOND – Do not respond to cyber-bullying messages. The bully wants to feel in control of your emotions, so the best response is no response
3. AVOID ISOLATION – Tell someone you trust about the bully. Bullies count on their target not telling others. Join a group of friends that does not condone bullying. There is safety in numbers.
4. BE ASSERTIVE – Act confident. Hold your head up, stand up straight, and make eye contact if you are forced to respond to the bully.

Remember, bullies are angry, manipulative and unhappy people. If you become the target of bully, don’t blame yourself. The person doing the bullying has deep unresolved issues that cause them to ignore proper boundaries. Remember that you are not the one with the problem. It’s the bully who has the problem. It is NOT your fault!

Other useful sites:

Adult Bullying

Child Bullying

Kids against bullying

Article Written by Allison Jarman
Although recently married, Mrs. Jarman spent 17 years as single parent. She is the proud mother of two adult daughters. Mrs. Jarman was a classroom teacher in public schools and currently works in accounting and finance. She is a twice published author and weekly contributor for articles pertaining to single parents and families.

Focus on assets/help:

· Food banks – seeking help through this outlet will help save money for things like health care or other unexpected bills.

· Free/reduced health care or cobra benefits.

· Shop goodwill or thrift stores.

· Family or friends.

Getting back to work: revise your resume:

· Do not make a “generic” resume and send it to 50 potential employers.

Although initially this may make you feel as if you are taking action, it can back fire. Your “generic” resume may get quickly tossed aside. As well sending in your resume blindly to multiple companies, you are likely to feel worse if you don’t hear from any of them.

· Target specific jobs/companies you are most qualified for. Look for key words in the job descriptions that match your experience and include those key words on your resume.

Emotional/mental health:

· Avoid “hopeless” thinking.

· Set aside daily relaxation time for yourself. It’s important to take a break from focusing on your unemployment status. After you’ve spent your allocated time job searching, decide on your relaxation time and activities.

· Relax by going to the beach, lake or mountains or find a good book in a thrift store.

· Have one “family outing” each week. Your children must feel that mom is secure and taking care of everything. It is also important for the “family unit” to stay close during this time.

· Rent a movie from your local redbox – inexpensive and still allows for fun.

These low cost activities won’t tear through your cash and will also keep you emotionally healthy and balanced. Stopping all activities will likely lead to despair and feelings of being “trapped”. Your children are watching and will likely become more anxious if they see mom stopping “everything”.

Remember, you are among many unemployed yet you are still in control of your money and mental health. Stick to the steps outlined above and you will avoid feeling hopeless. Losing a job is a major life changing event. How you respond will determine the quality of your experience and happiness.

Don’t despair YOU are your greatest asset during this time!

Help for unemployed single moms:

SPAOA

EHOW

Article Written by Allison Jarman
Although recently married, Mrs. Jarman spent 17 years as single parent. She is the proud mother of two adult daughters. Mrs. Jarman was a classroom teacher in public schools and currently works in accounting and finance. She is a twice published author and weekly contributor for articles pertaining to single parents and families.

Is a college degree worth it?

No matter what you are led to believe, the fact is that people with a college degree have greater chances of getting employed than their counterparts. On the other hand, thinking that a college degree alone is enough to place your foot on the bottom rung on the career ladder might cause you disappointment once you begin your hunt for the jobs. If you want guaranteed career, you will have go down the path that leads to you achieving skills that are highly demanded by employers. Surprisingly, finding that out does not take years but rather a few days of intensive research or a discussion with an authoritative source. Look out for where the jobs are in your local area if you wish not to move once you graduate college. And make sure that you are choosing a school that is accredited and not a diploma mill. You will be surprised by how many diploma mills are out there that masquerade themselves as one of the best.

Go for loans if there is no other choice:

Not everyone will be able to get a full free ride through college. Sooner or later, you will be facing that very fact. But after having known that, you will be left with two choices. One is to take a loan with the hopes of getting a well-paying job soon after graduation and the other choice is to postpone your plans of back to school for a few years. This decision will undoubtedly be nerve-racking when you are a single parent with a child to take care of. It will be even harder if you are a custodial parent with absolutely zero support system. So, what really should a single mother do under such circumstances? Is back to school really a sensible choice even though one is aware that debt will be inevitable. The answer lies in your own mind. Ask yourselves the questions “ Where will this degree take me? ”, “ How demanded are the skills and knowledge acquired while in college? ”. Look around and you will find that even people with degrees fail to get a well-paying job. Maybe they eventually would after considerable amount of search and effort on their part. But choosing to acquire skills for which there is high demand would be a sure-fire way to get yourself not just on the ladder but on the top rungs of it.